It’s been ages! Quick update on my maths course: one more week of revision until my final exam. I’m cautiously optimistic about it, after some pleasing results on my first few assignments. My next post should be a post-exam breakdown of my excrutiating pain during this whole process. For now though, I wanted to take a break and talk about some other things. Maths is boring, right?
Mental health is supes important
I feel like I’ve made some positive progress with my mental health in the last few weeks. I’m thinking more positively at the moment, and I’m spending less time beating myself up for things I can’t control. This has come as the result of a lot of hard work at home. I’m working through some childhood trauma, dealing with some difficult memories and facing some hard truths. Something I’ve been finding has been working for me lately journalling. I went out and bought a nice, unruled notebook I write freeform notes in it every day. The main point of it has been to try and work through my memories and establish a timeline of events. At least, that’s what the point of it was when I started. It has kind of evolved over time. Writing down the negative thoughts can be cathartic - but gets exhausting. And that exhaustion is not necessarily helpful, so I’ve made sure to also include pleasant memories from my childhood as well.
My best childhood memories involve my two sisters, my cousins, my grand-parents, uncles and aunts. Playing games, doing arts and crafts, playing video games, running around at night. Or dodgy uncles in Santa gear at christmas time, making everyone laugh. Thinking about the nicer times is helping to reframe my outlook and stay positive.
Physical health is supes important
I recently started listening to The Ground Up Podcast. Episode 3, or 4 was about “leaving the corporate world”, a number of bangin’ quotes to choose from, bu this one is great:
You can’t think your way out of overthinking.
You have to change your physical space in some way in order to change your thinking. That means going outside. That’s been hard for me, but the more I do it, the more I am training myself to realise that most of my fears over the last 20 years, have simply not come to fruition.
When you take some time away to reframe your space, you can stay grounded and start to feel good again. Everyone always says if you’re depressed, you need to exercise. Endorphins and all that. I always thought that was kind of bullshit. But just the idea of changing up the space; going outside for a bit. I think that could really be a gateway drug for a lot of people. It’s the hardest thing to get up and go outside for 5 minutes when you’re depressed. But for me, it has been helping to say “I’ll just walk around the block”. If I do a bit more, great. If I want to do a U-turn and walk right back home (hint: hasn’t happened so far), then that’s fine too and I’m not gonna beat myself up about it. I’ll just try again later, or the next day.
Diet is supes important
I’m taking more control over what I cook and eat. Lately I’ve been experimenting and trying different things in the kitchen and it has given me a lot of confidence.
I’m experimenting this week with making cashew and almond milks, Vietnamese noodle salad and summer rolls. I’m thinking more about sustainable, waste-free and minimilist living. I’ve been thinking, “Damn, I’ve actually been living really well, considering how little I worked in the past year”. I think that it helps that my partner is frugal as hell, and an amazing cook. Has definitely influenced me very positively in the money-saving department.
Goals are supes important
Which leads us to goals. It’s good to have goals they say. Dream big, and you may find that even falling short of those big goals - you still kinda landed somewhere more awesome than without any kind of plan. I have a lot to look forward to. I’ll have finished my IT degree in the next few years. E will have her Masters. In the next few years we’re going to go overseas, get married, buy a house, have lots of animals and get off the grid. We’ll save for that deposit and still be able to afford to eat well, and live a good life. I’m putting that out into the zooniverse. Fk it.
Dream big! -MG